There isn't an addict alive that doesn’t have someone who loves them. Part of addiction is to push and push and manipulate and destroy those around them that do love them. They prey on the guilt they know their loved ones have and they also know exactly how much these people want them to live and get better.
If you are someone that loves an addict you can relate, the sleepless nights, the missed heartbeats when the phone rings, the dread and relief together when your addicted loved one shows up. You are dreading the visit because the end result is always the same but you are so relieved that they are ok, even if just for that moment.
How many times have you given them money you really couldn't afford, given them rides, lied for them, and brought yourself literally to the brink of insanity for the addict that you love? Don’t think for a second that they will rescue you from this insanity because they won’t.
So many wait desperately for that “rock bottom” moment when the addict hits that point and everything goes up from there. The problem is that in the meantime you are being torn apart and every fiber of your being is being shredded. Your family is falling apart and you have no idea where to turn. It is then time for you to do the most difficult thing you have ever done, put yourself first.
Letting go is extremely hard but you have to do it to save yourself and the rest of your family. As long as you make the addict in your life the star of the show you will be oblivious to everything else around you. Letting go does not mean to stop loving or to stop caring, it means to start saying no and to put you first. Stop letting their behaviors run your life, whatever that means you have to do.
You may have to be done until they are ready to help themselves. Stop giving those rides and money, stop lying for them and making excuses, stop helping them kill themselves. You can only do so much and they have to want to quit using for themselves not because you want them to. The harder you make it for them the quicker they will see no other alternative but to quit. Do you have an addict in your life? Is it time to let go?
