Wow where do I begin. I've never had a addict in my life, never knew it was possible to fall in love with one, but I did.. A year and over $15,000 later today I walked away. I could go into story after story of this persons life and his family... many great loving stories, and many heart breaking stories.. I read many post on this site today and its like looking into a mirror and seeing my life of being in love with an addict, It's like a club and they all follow the same rules, same promises, same words, it's like a bunch of clones.. I do have some events that Hollywood would not believe. I'm too ashamed to even admit that after I found out about one event that I even stayed and continued to love him. I feel in love with his family.. His mother became my mother,ut today it all ended. I knew months ago my dream of having a grown up relationship with him would never happen, I became his parent not his partner. He is a 46 year old man that lives in a 18 year old brain. Funny thing he has been an addict since the age of 18 in prison 4 or 5 times with a total of 14 years, and no I didn't know this before I fell in love. But I did see red flags. I held out that LOVE and God could change him. That damn free will gift that he gives all of us kinda got in the way LOL. I cried so many nights not for what it was but for what it could have been. 46 years old, a lifetime addict, in and out of prison and physically doesn't look a day over 30, go figure. Looks of a model, body of an athlete, a love for GOD, knows the bible like the back of his hand, IQ through the roof, high or clean the kindest person that would give you the shirt off his back. So whats the problem??? That damn four letter word DRUG... and its not going away because his mother will not stop enabling him with money, cell phones, bail, and of course its those bad people out there you know the other drug user friends that won't leave him alone. Today I've never felt more used, tired, stupid, pissed, hurt, mad, and still in LOVE.. but I know it's time to go. Fair well my friend I will never stop praying for you. I have to get on with life. My trust and circle of friends just got smaller.. Funny no matter how hard I try to hate him that H turns to a L the A turns to an O the T turns to a V and the E is the E.
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